Type away.

Okay, it has been quite some time and I do have a lot of updates. But first, I just want to rant, alright? This will be probably the first post I publish that has a rant.

Anyway, this is my blog. My space (not referring to the site xP ~ this is Blogger). My freedom.

So, lately, there's this feeling that has been bothering me. I won't tell you why, but I want to just say how much it's been bothering me.

It's so annoying when feelings come rushing in - unwanted feelings. They're not always so bad, but most of the time they are. This of course doesn't make any difference with the other ones, the negative ones. Okay, maybe this doesn't make sense. Actually, I don't think it does. So if you have better things to do than reading all these nonsense I just typed away, as the title mentions, then please go ahead and so them :)

So, going back. If you're still reading this...go ahead.

Anyway, what I despise about that unwanted feeling is that it's the single things that trigger it. It's pretty powerful. I just don't like how it made me lose my appetite earlier - to the point where I felt like throwing up when I ate.

Of course, I don't let this affect how things are going on outside. So while there's an internal, futile war going on inside, it's pretty much the same outside. The energy of it was too strong though that I got all hyped out, talking loudly and endlessly, not knowing what I said half the time. It's powerful enough to probably make me run with a fast, constant speed for miles. It's those moments when I feel like I'm up for anything. Anything. Just to distract me. I guess in a good way, it can make do anything challenging I usually won't be up for. But rebellious stuff as well.

Anyway, what annoys me is how this futile battle rages on - and it's just there. As I let it slip away, it falls right back in place - as if it's meant to be there. But I can't help but let it make me feel out of place. Like, that's not how things are supposed t be, but it is. As I said earlier - not making any sense. But I don't know how else to explain this.

There are probably hundreds of people who can explain this better than me, but this is how I feel and this is how I express it. I guess it sucks, but that's all I can do.

Now, I have no idea what to do. But then life goes on. I wonder that if I just ignore this feeling and focus on the more positive ones, everything will be somehow better. Maybe it will. But for how long? That's what I'm not sure of.

Well, I guess there are certain feelings in life that exist to make a person feel down, but our mission is not to let it. Maybe this is just a test of strength in character. I think that if only positive things existed, then we wouldn't be human. 'Cause for example, if a person is aways happy and never sad, they wouldn't know what happiness is in the first place. They wouldn't acknowledge it. This eventually leads to emptiness, I guess. We both exist on the positive and negatives. I guess it's like how the saying goes:

"Life is like photography. We use the negatives to develop." <-- The quote of the post. :)

(When we develop, that negative turns positive ;) )

So, I have no idea if that just made sense. But I am quite positive it's all disorganized.

This is probably the most useless (?) post so far. Yeah.

But not really.

Well, it did make me feel better :)

Take care & Enjoy everyday ^^

*Clicks post button before second thoughts arrive*