Weekly Update. (Dull title for a dull [kind of] week)

I planned to write a post on the other things I did during the so called five day Spring Break(which was mainly a Holy Week holiday). I remember wanting to write it. I can be a procrastinator at times though. So poof, it went out 0f my mind when I finally sat down to type it (which was minutes ago). The downside of procrastination. Well, it doesn't really have much positive effects anyway.

So, I'll just tell you how the past week has been. Basically, it was quite a lazy week. It all started on Saturday when we went to Fujairah (two hours away from school). There was another branch of our school in there. We went day for our Confirmation Retreat. About ninety of us here are going to get confirmed tomorrow. I'm quite excited, but then at the same time I'm scared/nervous 'cause I'm doing the First Reading. At first I wasn't, but then other co-readers were sharing their fears which eventually entered my head as well. But then I'll stick to my optimism it's all for Him, anyway.

Funny how the first paragraph ended with a head shake that suggested "no", while the other one was a nod.

Anyway, the ride to the retreat was quite noisy. The bus radio was blazing loud and everyone was singing along to it. Well, almost everyone. I was still recovering from my illness so singing wasn't really a smart idea. Their energy was so infectious! It got quite tiring half way. Imagine sitting straight for almost two hours (and more since we got lost). Yeah, so our asses hurt by the time we arrived. We fortunately had a short stop though.

I had no idea what exactly we were going to do. It's part of our confirmation course though since it was a Confirmation Retreat. I knew we were going to be divided in groups though. The group formation was random. So I was grouped with people whose names were the only thing I knew and even some who I didn't even know existed. It was quite awkward since none of us was thefriendly type. I mean, we were all nice to each other, but mainly because we had to. Not because we were interested in being friends as well. Everyone was co-operative so we had a great time. There was a number of LOL moments. Priceless.

Our group activities was just designing an ad and doing a re-enactment of a Bible verse. We did other things as well such as drawing our own symbol (from the symbols of the church) and there was a talk. It was pretty boring since the one who was speaking did not know what he was talking about - at all. The frequent use of "um"s and "ah"s said it all. It ended with a mass.

Some things were rushed 'cause we were an hour late there due to our late departure. Fortunately, we didn't get lost on our way back. There was less energy though and everyone was eating. We did have a break during the retreat, but then almost everyone played volleyball. So yeah. It was eventually the girls against the guys. Guys won - by twelve points.

The school was way bigger than ours. The facilities were somehow better than ours, but not much different. One thing was sure though: their school was stricter than ours. There was a strict sign that mentioned: "No talking in the toilets". Whoa.

After the retreat, I was going home by public bus. It was quite fun 'cause I waited with my best friend. There was a moment when the bus came, but I purposely missed it with so my best friend and I could bond more. It was getting somehow boring so we decided to cross the road when the stop light was green and wait for the next stop light to turn green before we crossed again. But it was that time when the next bus came and I was quite tired to wait for the next one so we just ran across the road when there were no cars.

Anyway, ever since that day, I was quite lazy. We had no homework (or I did it in school) throughout the week and it just flew by. I felt like I was wasting time (which I was). I was mostly on the computer, doing stuff that bore no fruit.

So, it was uneventful. My weekdays ended like that. Except for Spirit Day, yesterday. I wore a dress. I'm not usually a dress person. But I like wearing dresses because they make me feel pretty like a doll. I don't want to lose that feeling. I guess that's why I don't like wearing dresses so often.

"I think that if we do or say something so often; it eventually loses its meaning."

That's the quote of the day and it is by me. It's quite late here. I think I should rest now.

Type away.

Okay, it has been quite some time and I do have a lot of updates. But first, I just want to rant, alright? This will be probably the first post I publish that has a rant.

Anyway, this is my blog. My space (not referring to the site xP ~ this is Blogger). My freedom.

So, lately, there's this feeling that has been bothering me. I won't tell you why, but I want to just say how much it's been bothering me.

It's so annoying when feelings come rushing in - unwanted feelings. They're not always so bad, but most of the time they are. This of course doesn't make any difference with the other ones, the negative ones. Okay, maybe this doesn't make sense. Actually, I don't think it does. So if you have better things to do than reading all these nonsense I just typed away, as the title mentions, then please go ahead and so them :)

So, going back. If you're still reading this...go ahead.

Anyway, what I despise about that unwanted feeling is that it's the single things that trigger it. It's pretty powerful. I just don't like how it made me lose my appetite earlier - to the point where I felt like throwing up when I ate.

Of course, I don't let this affect how things are going on outside. So while there's an internal, futile war going on inside, it's pretty much the same outside. The energy of it was too strong though that I got all hyped out, talking loudly and endlessly, not knowing what I said half the time. It's powerful enough to probably make me run with a fast, constant speed for miles. It's those moments when I feel like I'm up for anything. Anything. Just to distract me. I guess in a good way, it can make do anything challenging I usually won't be up for. But rebellious stuff as well.

Anyway, what annoys me is how this futile battle rages on - and it's just there. As I let it slip away, it falls right back in place - as if it's meant to be there. But I can't help but let it make me feel out of place. Like, that's not how things are supposed t be, but it is. As I said earlier - not making any sense. But I don't know how else to explain this.

There are probably hundreds of people who can explain this better than me, but this is how I feel and this is how I express it. I guess it sucks, but that's all I can do.

Now, I have no idea what to do. But then life goes on. I wonder that if I just ignore this feeling and focus on the more positive ones, everything will be somehow better. Maybe it will. But for how long? That's what I'm not sure of.

Well, I guess there are certain feelings in life that exist to make a person feel down, but our mission is not to let it. Maybe this is just a test of strength in character. I think that if only positive things existed, then we wouldn't be human. 'Cause for example, if a person is aways happy and never sad, they wouldn't know what happiness is in the first place. They wouldn't acknowledge it. This eventually leads to emptiness, I guess. We both exist on the positive and negatives. I guess it's like how the saying goes:

"Life is like photography. We use the negatives to develop." <-- The quote of the post. :)

(When we develop, that negative turns positive ;) )

So, I have no idea if that just made sense. But I am quite positive it's all disorganized.

This is probably the most useless (?) post so far. Yeah.

But not really.

Well, it did make me feel better :)

Take care & Enjoy everyday ^^

*Clicks post button before second thoughts arrive*